In April I updated you on my lifestyle change in which I had lost ten pounds. I am updating you again in this last cold month of the year, December with a big 6-0 number. I have lost sixty pounds since my start in March and I'm feeling amazing.
There are a whole bunch of things I want to say but the first thing is that I'm healthy, I'm happy and I'm extremely motivated to continue on my journey. Like I've said in previous blogposts, I have always struggled with my weight since I was twelve or thirteen. At the beginning it wasn't a main priority but as I got older it was always in the back of my mind. I remember thinking if there was a website that you could upload your picture to and alter yourself so you could see what you would look like thin - thinking that that would be the only way that I'd ever see myself with a "skinny figure". I remember going to clothing stores and taking a bunch of clothing items into the change room and by the time I finished, I was in tears. Rarely did anything fit me. I remember times when I was about to put a pair of pants on, I'd pray to God in my mind if he "could please allow the pair of pants to fit." I remember comparing my thighs to other girls thighs and saying, "both of her legs are like one of mine." I remember never ever participating in pool parties in the summer because I was too self conscious to be seen in a bathing suit. I remember getting an anonymous internet post on one of those "ask websites" saying, "why are you so fat?" Yes, these are all really horrible things to think about, but they are normal things to obsess over as a teenaged girl.
I tried multiple times to lose weight and every time I tried, it was going to be the time that I succeeded. Of course, I always failed. I always either became unmotivated after a few weeks or I just gave up because I thought it would be too hard. Everything is about body image, even if we don't want to believe it. Fashion, school, work, friends, relationships - everything. There's nothing wrong with being curvy or full figured, and I'm not saying that if you are, those things will be negatively affected. Though, if you aren't happy with how you look, if you don't feel comfortable with the way your body is, it will affect all of those things because you won't be ultimately happy and secure.
So after years and years of trying and failing, what worked this time? Well truth be told I can't give a straight answer, all I can say is that I changed my outlook on my situation. I thought positive, I stayed committed, and I put lots of dedication into it. Like the title says, this isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Once I have reached my weight goal, my 'dieting' doesn't stop. It's a continuous lifestyle for the rest of my life. Exercise, healthy eating, treats and junk food in moderation. My worst fear after all of this is gaining the weight back, but I have to keep reminding myself that the path doesn't end once I have reached that ideal number.. it may get smoother or wider or straighter, but it keeps going.
At the beginning of my journey, I made a list of little goals that I wanted to hit. Proudly, almost all of those goals have been checked off. Little things that may not seem like a big deal to some really mattered to me like: being able to wrap a towel all the way around myself, being able to cross my legs, being able to fit into some clothes that I had. All of these I have accomplished and so much more.. The great thing is, is that some of the clothes that I bought in the past that I alway said, "one day I'll be able to fit into this" are actually too big for me now!
The people around you are a big part in the journey as well. My family is so supportive - always amazed at my success. They even help me through the times where I get frustrated with the scale, telling me that I'm doing amazing and not to give up. My friends have all been incredible. I enjoy posting on social media about my success in hopes of inspiring and motivating others, and the responses have always been great. Someone who I have to mention - Nathalie T, always comments the most wonderful and kind motivational messages on all of my posts. She even inspired me to join yoga, and that's something that I have now started to incorporate into my life. Other people like Erin, Charlotte, Rachel, Caitlin, Emily, Mikaila, Carly, Shannon, Ally, Kristie, Julia, Sarah, Michelle, Colette, Emma, Aimee, Rose, Marisa, Edwina, Katherine, Aless, Alex, Gillian, Nicole, Vic and literally so many more (very sorry if I forgot to mention you, but believe me, you matter) have written me such amazing things. (I hope you all don't mind me mentioning you in here.) I even saw my old personal trainer the other day and when I went to say hi to her, she didn't recognize me at first. With a great support base, impossibility seems pathetic. Many people have told me that I am an inspiration and it feels incredible.
I want to post some pictures of my progress on here, some are a little embarrassing but nonetheless very almost unbelievable to look at in my eyes. Sometimes when I look at old photos of myself or old clothes I say, "did I really used to fit in that or be that big?"
My start in March (left) and what I am currently at (right).
Me at prom (left) in June 2012 and me wearing my prom dress now (right).
A vest I wore to a concert in March (left) and the same vest on me now (right).
A pair of my old pants that fit me snug, now with room to fit my dog in.
A little nervous to post this one but it makes me the most proud. Me in a bathing suit I bought from Victoria Secret in hopes of one day fitting into it (left) me wearing the bathing suit now (right). (ALMOST THERE!!!)
I won't really go into detail about what I am doing to reach my goal (as in food wise..) because it may be technical and boring, but if anyone wants tips or help with their own journey I'd be more than happy to help! Message me on FB, Instagram, Twitter, text, email, or whatever! I love being an inspiration to people and I'd love to help someone else achieve success on their own lifestyle change/journey.
I'm not done yet, but I'm extremely happy with my results and I can't wait to start my life with the confidence and happiness I deserve.
You go girl!!
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